Canada's main exports are wind, geese who shit constantly but only on golf courses, and overly-polite white people. Their main imports are American tourist gamblers.
Author of Pulitzer Prize-winning (if anyone will publish it) non-fiction humor novel "Nobody Sed I Can't Writ A Book So I Did...It". Publish this book and your cut of the royalties alone will provide swimming pools and college for your kids. I'll be honest, I'm posting articles here to support the publication of my humor novel. Please, publishers, don't be the ones to reject the next Dave Barry; I'm saying this in love. I'm doing stand-up comedy and putting articles places like here, or rather, here, to support my book, hoping a publisher or literary agent stumbles upon my work, and has done enough heroin while reading to decide to sign me. If you sign me and I make enough money, we can party. I'm talking A-level hookers and good blow. Party like it's 1983. If you were not alive in 1983, I will just say, it rocked. Please, enjoy my "writing."