Every time Joe Biden mentions Obama, take a drink.

When Elizabeth Warren makes a strong point on corporate regulation and you realize it won’t matter to the voters who believe men are better suited to politics, make a stronger drink.

If Andrew Yang offers to give away more money at random, go ahead and make a pitcher of margaritas.

When Bernie Sanders throws his hands and appears exasperated by everyone else’s moral ambiguity, finish the pitcher.

When Amy Klobucher has her big moment of the evening which might double her polling numbers from 1% to 2%, realize you’ve run out of tequila and decide to switch to the beer.

If Cory Booker gets a chance to speak, try that craft IPA in the back of your fridge that your friend Mike had left at your place the last time he was here.

When you realize Tom Steyer is running for President, look up the brewery that made the craft beer you’re drinking and think “I could totally open a brewery.”

If Pete Buttigieg refers to how young he is, seize your own youth by signing up for a local home brewing course and buying several pounds of barley.

As soon as Kamala Harris mentions her record as a District Attorney, jump on a commercial real estate website and start envisioning your future tap room.

If Tulsi Gabbard responds to Harris by mentioning her military record, debate internally whether your brewery’s first trivia night will be Parks and Rec or Buffy the Vampire Slayer themed.

Whenever Joe Biden tells a long and rambling story, question for a brief moment if opening a brewery is the best idea since you’ll have to deal with drunk people on a regular basis.

When Beto O’Rourke looks dreamily around himself and appears really excited just to be there, enjoy a daydream about how your brewery will most definitely have live music nights.

If Marianne Williamson somehow appears on stage, use the law of attraction to receive funds from Andrew Yang as seed money for the brewery that you are absolutely and definitely going to open.

Every time Elizabeth Warren makes an excellent policy point about working parents or mentions the importance of unions, consider all the ways you can improve working conditions for the employees at your brewery.

When Julian Castro looks warmly to Elizabeth Warren and you can see that both of them are looking forward to the Warren/Castro Democratic ticket, call your friend and see if they’d like to be your partner when you open your brewery.

Each time you admire Bernie’s tenacity for Medicare-For-All at the podium only days after having a heart attack, remember that life is short and you’re not thinking big enough. Develop a plan to open a brewery distribution center and acquire licenses in all the states Bernie is still campaigning in.

Once you see that the news ticker at the bottom of the screen showing Breaking News about the Supreme Court, finish your beer, crawl into bed, and wonder if your liver will make it to January 2021.

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