Ok, I know what this looks like. Me just stumbling across Amelia Earhart. Do you think it’s a coincidence that I found her? You thought right. It was a coincidence. I had nothing to do with her disappearance. So don’t start saying that I did, because that would be a lie, and I don’t take kindly to liars. Just ask Amelia. She knows. From the short time that we’ve known each other. Not like she would have gained an opinion of me after many years of being close to one another. Because that didn’t happen.

I honestly had never even heard of her. If someone had asked me before I found her who Amelia Earhart was, I would have asked “Who?” unsuspiciously. Because I hadn’t even heard the name before, which is weird because I’m like a huge fan of aviation. But that love of mine is completely unrelated to this discovery and therefore has nothing to do with anything. I don’t even know why I brought it up. I’m just an open book. You can ask Amelia to fact-check that. I mean, or anyone else. Doesn’t have to be her.

I only really figured out who she was after all of you experts were like, “Hey, is that Amelia Earhart?” and I said “Who?” you know, like I always do. One of you guys said that she’s been missing for like 80 years? That’s random. And you guys never found a body or anything? You all have been persistent, huh? I just can’t believe you all would care that much about this one person. Especially this one person out of everyone. Like there are a lot of people you could have been looking for.

Granted, most of them aren’t missing. But still. And she just vanished? You all didn’t have any leads? None at all? That’s good. I mean, good heavens, that must have been tricky.

You all still want to know where she was? Oh, she’s been here, she’s been there. Really hard to keep track of, really. I’d say she split her time between being in my house and being in another part of my house. I know, I know. I don’t know what she was doing over there either. Like kind of cool, but also so random. Mostly random? Yeah, I guess you’re right.

Could you imagine, me and Amelia Earhart, my house, in an 80-year love nest? I can’t. I don’t know why you would even bring that up. I mean, and the fact that you’d even mention that is rather inappropriate. Oh, I brought it up? I already told you, I don’t take kindly to liars. And neither does Amelia. I would think. She’s an old, living woman you know, capable of such great things. Just ask Amelia. If I know anything about Amelia, and I don’t, it’s that she is really something. Or so I’ve been told.