Detectives BASKINS and CHALMERS are driving down a crowded New York City Street.

DET. CHALMERS: There! There! Park it there!

DET. BASKINS: Are you nuts, Chalmers? There's no way we'd fit in there. That's a compact spot.

DET. CHALMERS: We got the call on this 132 an hour ago! The perp is probably all the way to Queens by now!

DET. BASKINS: I know, I know! Let me just circle 'round and look again. I'm sure another spot must've opened up by now.

DET. CHALMERS: Dammit, Baskins! I can't tell you how much I hate this big ass SUV!

DET. BASKINS: It's really impractical, isn't it? Just hang on and let me swing around again.


Detectives VASQUEZ and JOHNSON sit at their desks when LT. GRAVES enters.

GRAVES: Vasquez, Johnson, listen up! We got a stiff down by Battery Park went ‘n got carved up sometime between four and five this morning. I need you two down there right away.

DET. VASQUEZ: Ah, lieutenant, come on. We were up in Washington Heights yesterday and had to drive all the way down to the Bowery right after that. We already circled Central Park four times early this morning chasing a lead.

GRAVES: Don't even say it, Vasquez…

DET. VASQUEZ: You got any idea how much it costs to fill that thing up!? My department credit card is maxed this month and I got a mountain of receipts just waiting to expense from my own card!

GRAVES: Take it up with finance or public works. I don't care.

LT. GRAVES leaves and DET. VASQUEZ turns to DET. JOHNSON.

DET. VASQUEZ: Do we really have to drive this impractical SUV around everywhere?

DET. JOHNSON: For some reason, we do.


Detectives BASKINS and CHALMERS survey the scene of a bloody murder. The SUV is nearby.

DET. CHALMERS: Jesus, what a mess we got here. Get the gear outta the SUV so we can sort through this would you?

Detective BASKINS looks straight ahead, motionless.

DET. CHALMERS: Baskins! Wake up! Get the gear, would ya? We ain't got all day with this scene.

DET. BASKINS: I, uh… listen, Chalmers, the gear's not in the SUV.

DET. CHALMERS: What?! Why the hell not?

DET. BASKINS: I got my kid's soccer stuff in there.

DET. CHALMERS: Fer Christ's sake!

DET. BASKINS: Get off my case, Chalmers. You know what a pain in the ass it is to haul all my kid's soccer stuff 'round the city on the subway?

DET. CHALMERS: The lieutenant'll have your badge for this, Baskins!

DET. BASKINS: I did my grocery shopping last night, too. Got a month's worth of shopping done all in one trip. I friggin' love this thing!