Congratulations on your purchase of the first Autonomous Vehicle for Women! This driverless automobile has been created specifically with you, the lady, in mind.
This female-inspired automatic car was designed by 27 male engineers, 14 male mechanics, 1 male CEO, and given a cheerful thumbs up by the hot babe wearing denim dukes hired to do the unveiling at the 2017 automobile convention.
Whether you’ve chosen from any of our color options (rose, blush, mauve, black with rainbow glitter) you are guaranteed that this car is a perfect fit. Rest assured that this car will not only bring a reliable performance but also enhance the supple shape of your breasts, the curves of your hips, and the tightness of your ass.
Go ahead and smile. You’re one step closer to enjoying your automated ride. And now go ahead and smile again, because that is how you operate the remote keyless entry. No one wants to see a resting bitch face. Show us a welcoming smile and then we can unlock the doors for you. There it is. There’s our pretty lady. Step inside.
Let me, your voice-controlled guide, walk you through the operating manual. If you would like to change the sound of my voice select from our menu of options on the instrument panel. I see you searching for a female voice. Silly thing. Only men can really explain how this car works.
Standard on all A3 models, our luxurious leather seats are designed for ultimate comfort. With built in heat sensors these seats will automatically warm you on cold nights, cool you on a hot summer’s day, and let you know if your body weight is too much for your frame.
Notice the polished interior seats. These can be kept in perfect condition as long as you always have waxed your legs. Nothing ruins premium leather (or a lady’s character) more than three days worth of razor sharp hair.
Next let’s take a tour of the car’s mechanics. This sleek voice operated vehicle is designed with a powerful 2.0 liter turbocharged engi….oh you know what, sweetheart. Don’t you worry about the engine. That’s why you have a boyfriend, right?
Actually, do you? Do you have a boyfriend?
Now maybe you wondering, “What if this car doesn’t know I actually changed my mind and did want to stop at the mall!” Maybe it’s Sephora or hopefully a gym if you really are serious about your body. I mean for health purposes. Trust that this autonomous car is used to the fickle changes women make. That’s why we’ve included a “I’ve changed my mind!” button. Press it any time and your car can let you know if it’s the right choice for you.
Worried about parallel parking? Aren’t women always. Now this car is just like having a boyfriend to park it for you all the time! If you have a boyfriend.
I can’t remember if you answered.
So let’s get comfortable. Let me adjust the seat to your liking. I’m moving it a little closer to my voice. A little closer. Scooting it up a little more. There we are. Your body is now comfortably pressed up against the glove box.
Alright lovely girl. You check your lipstick in the mirror, and I’ll take care of the rest.