Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Thanksgiving is one of the few days that I can gather with my family, eat a huge plate of delicious food, and pound back six or seven glasses of gravy.
I walk out into my backyard party—it’s always a party in my backyard. I smile and clink glasses with a man who could be my neighbor, but is he?
FastFix here. Hard to articulate... but there’s something about 5:00 that feels more rounded out than 4:30, don’t you think?
Consider swinging with a witch: The best way to do this is by mentioning that you saw them from across the bog, and you really dig their vibe.
Q: Do I need to time the hourglass? A: No. That would be redundant.
The revelations about the human condition you experience after consuming hallucinogenic mushrooms make it much easier to come up with future Fortune 500 companies.
Registered: A brand new crib with a breathable, hypoallergenic mattress / My Baby Wanted: Our dog’s bed, full of dog hair and slobbery toys
Course Materials/Payment: Double Baconator with large fry OR Pack of cigs (Camel preferred) OR 6-pack of Miller Lite
My being here is simply for the lulz and has nothing to do with my ex posting a vacation album with her new boyfriend on social media.
You raised some concerns that a lot of us have zero climbing experience. Just so you know, I watched a bunch of climbing videos.
When my girlfriend walks away, she doesn’t follow her. She stays with me because I’m nurturing and friendly and like, super cool.
I just don’t think I can morally justify knowingly bringing children into a world where their dad would be me.