Q: What is my hourglass for?
A: Your hourglass measures time.
Q: How much time?
A: One hour. That is why it’s called an “hour glass.”
Q: What is my hourglass made out of?
A: Glass. That is why it’s called an “hour glass.”
Q: What is inside of my hourglass?
A: Sand. Some philosophers think this is implied in the name “hourglass,” since glass is superheated sand, but those philosophers have never worked customer service. Nothing can be implied.
Q: How do I use my new hourglass?
A: Place it on a flat surface. Make sure the sand is all collected on one side. Then, turn it upside down.
Q: Do I need to time the hourglass?
A: No. That would be redundant.
Q: If I don’t time the hourglass, how will I know how long it runs for?
A: It runs for an hour.
Q: What if I need to measure in increments other than an hour?
A: Then you don’t need an hourglass. Instead, try a watch.
Q: I knocked the hourglass over and it stopped running. How do I know when my hour is over?
A: Pick the hourglass up and right it. The timing will continue from there.
Q: My hourglass isn’t measuring a full hour. Why?
A: This may be due to user error. Is the sand fully drained before you flip the hourglass over? If not, wait for it to drain, then turn it.
Q: My hourglass is drained but time is still passing. Why?
A: The hourglass does not cause time to pass. It simply measures its passage.
Q: My hourglass has stopped telling time!
A: Turn it over. This will begin a new hour.
Q: Can I eat the sand?
A: If you eat the sand, the hourglass will stop telling time. Also, sand is not edible. But you’re the customer here. You can do whatever you want.