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Somewhere we don’t have to think about all these people staring at us and deciding whether I’m “guilty” or “innocent.”
I’ve developed a ranking system reducing their performance into a simple number: Progeny Plus-Minus (PPM).
Depending on who you ask, this flashing neon sign either depicts two pelicans frolicking or fornicating. The choice is yours!
Static cracked between the two big sort of metal pole things with a bauble on top, sort of like a butterfly net for lightning I think.
NOW HIRING: Pest Control Specialist / Wearer of Big-Ass Doc Martens
Big feelings are really normal when you spend so much time investigating stakeholder demographics.
Third Post-it, covering Doris completely: “This company will not succeed if I’m not allowed to operate at peak performance.”
I wanted to feel ready when our son arrived, but nothing prepares you for the real thing, or the sinkholes.
I meet all the requirements for the job, most of which are not listed in the job posting.
They gasp at how you ran for an hour and twenty six minutes at 6:14 P.M. on Tuesday. “She didn’t take any breaks?” they exclaim.
I will always remember my purpose as a pretend physician: to treat the sick. I must also remind the patient of this by whispering into their mouth, “You’re sick.”
You'll notice there's just one light bulb in this 3-pack of light bulbs. That's the point. Ask yourself: Do you see two missing, or one remaining?