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I promise, honey, I will NEVER, ever, ne'er, ever, ever ever ever sleep with your mother, or get a handjob from your mother.
Attention Green Dragon soccer team members who had your penis and testicles touched by assistant coach Nick: look on the bright side!
For Americans, the 2008 presidential election comes down to a choice between an inexperienced street thug and a defrosted Civil War veteran.
Loneliness is a big moneymaker, and singles websites are cashing in on it with fake vaginas.
Thousands of screennames are analyzed, rated, and reviewed for humor and popularity. Anyone can submit their screenname to be reviewed and posted online!
The head of a porn studio gives notes to a young screenwriter on his screenplay submission to Money Shot Studios.
Last call came and your last resort hookup went, now what? Join the drunken herd in the streets and see if you can catch the skinniest buffalo.
ESPN's X Games doesn't have squat on these daring and dastardly challenges. Moto X? Try Vert-Moonlanding and Subhuman Fusion.
When missing class becomes a problem, you're going to need some creative excuses. Try emailing these with a straight face.
Some guys have the magic touch, and others don't. Now indulge yourself in an expert's approach to killing the ladies.
Sit down and curl up with an Xbox or Playstation, 'cause it's probably the best stress-reliever you know. But every mood deserves a different game.
It's Sunday morning and you're still in last night's clothes, reeking of alcohol and sex outside an unfamiliar dorm. Put on your scarlet letter and begin the Walk of Shame.