Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Emperor, after you rescued Poland I dreamt of riding by your side and feasting together. But now I shall destroy your empire with my babcia Grazyna's shoe clasp!
When you are fat, death is your closest friend. This week I battled my fat phobias while in Las Vegas, where I ate the biggest, most decadent piece of cake imaginable.
<p>Not all stereotypes of the South are necessarily true. We're not all overweight and stupid, and believe it or not, we don't all vote against our own self-interest. It might even come as surprise that the majority of Southerners have all of their teeth. But we do all have racist grandparents and an unhealthy obsession with college football.</p>
Welcome to another weekly installment of Foodie Favs and Retreats. Join me for this 24-hour record-setting adventure to enjoy all the best pizza the Earth has to offer.
"Jared, thanks for the Gyrados. Remember when we spent all our money on Jelly Bellys just to feel something? Have an existential summer." -Seth
Barbie has evolved into a modern woman who has pursued many jobs and professions, such as Architect Barbie and Doctor Barbie. But Mattel never envisioned these Barbies.
At 29, I am convinced that farts are just as humorous as they were when my father first asked me to pull his finger. May your sense of smell remain just as light-hearted.
The news has grown into an entertainment feature in and of itself, and not in a "laugh at all the corpses and thank fuck that bomb didn't go off here" kind of way.
Did you know that if you juggle you can receive a significant tax write-off? Juggling is not just a way to hat trick 2015. It is a way to get our nation back on track this year.
Although the year 2014 in our universe would make anyone consider turning into one of those "Doomsday Preppers" nutjobs, it was a different story in Zborft.
For losing 40 pounds I gained respect. For gaining a few back my critics are back, and they are appropriately skeptical: we should all be wary of unpredictable people.
I’m here because I also have a relationship with the public, outside of Bill Cosby the human, and I have to ask you all one question: We're still cool, right?