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Though his superior respiratory system makes him the perfect specimen in and out of a Speedo, there are, however, still some things I can do that Michael Phelps can't.
Ladies, there's more to urinating than unleashing, draining, and calling it a day. Here's a short guide to six ways he pees that you may not know about.
A potentially devastating terrorist attack on Maracana Stadium is thwarted when Usain Bolt reaches out to ISIS leaders and makes things right.
Kermit and Miss Piggy's feud began in 1980, when she found out that he starred in a Trident gum commercial without her. Since then, things have been sticky.
Seven ways to use your God-given ability to produce weaponized shitclouds for personal satisfaction and enjoyment in the workplace.
When tasting a wine, I like to start three feet away from the wine glass and write down my first impressions from my eyes and beloved, all-telling nose.
I had forgotten one important factor that may determine the outcome of my business: when it comes to work, I suffer from dissociative identity disorder.
Donald Trump believes that people will forget what you’ve said, they’ll forget what you did, but they won’t forget a 1,000 mile border wall. You love this man, and so do I.
Pick any ex-boyfriend at random, and dwell upon his cruel non-verbal communication - the eye-rolls, smirks, and resentful sighs. Imagine having slapped him every time.
I would like to express my deepest gratitude for your willingness to begin the process of considering having sex with me. But first, a few matters of federal, state, and local law.
There's no way I entered this incorrectly; I watched myself do it the right way ten times now. Why would I get my password wrong? It's MY password.
Grandpa's lost all attention span after those long days and nights toiling to find pieces of prime content to make into memes and listicles.