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For the lovable loser in your life: It seems like just yesterday you were in kindergarten… Now you work at Best Buy.
At night you claw at my door to let you in, hoping in vain that you might find more affection from me. It's become too much really.
Wow! This Guy Seemed Genuinely Kind and Interested In Me, But How I Blow Him Off Because of My Deep-Seated Insecurity Is Even Crazier!
Crap! Crap! Crap! Brain, you idiot, what did you just do? You don't want soymilk. Why did you say that? Ok, you can fix this, THINK...
There's no better way to impress on a young boy the timeless lesson of impermanence than the gallows. Then move on to a ballista or siege tower!
When life seems overwhelming, it's important to remind yourself that there must be articles out there to help. Somewhere.
Gone are the days of sitting around nervously waiting for that quiet nutcase to shoot up a public space. Now a single kit can test for the devil!
I never wanted to be the jealous girlfriend, but the first thing I did when my boyfriend moved to Bulgaria is Google "Are Bulgarian women hot?"
Suddenly, all your girlfriend wants to do is play golf, hang around casinos, and insult people riding around in sub-compact cars.
A study of 200,000 toddlers, conducted by scientists at Barnard College over 15 years, has determined that toddlers misbehave to prep their parents for doomsday scenarios.
Poetry is a tough sell, especially when it involves making people listen to it out loud at length. Here's how to sell the concept to friends.
It's as if to be part of the intelligentsia you have to say "look" before making your point. Look at what? Look where? You're a jerk.