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I tried to find you again at 3:30 AM, but you were nowhere to be found. I think you starred Diane Keaton, so I doubt you're in Horror.
He has a visible tattoo of Tim Allen playing billiards with Tim Allen. (The second Tim Allen had red glowing eyes. He kept calling him “Dark Tim.”)
You can either let those lemons get you down, or you can absolutely crush the shit out of those lemons by channeling the inebriated fury of Thor.
A Chimp-Bather Among Us: This two-part documentary series suggests that on May 7, 2014, I stripped naked and scrubbed myself along with the chimps.
We appreciate you allowing Goodman & Forsythe the opportunity to review your fantasy novel, Bible. Unfortunately, it is not right for us at this time.
As it struggled, it waved General McHenry closer. It opened eyes and in its dying breath choked out, "You're not fooling anyone with that hairpiece."
Personally ingratiate yourself to each and every search committee member. In your application, subtly but strongly imply that no favor is off-limits.
Thanks to the Farm Bill's protections, we can look after our community without having to do the murderous bidding of He Who Walks Behind the Rows.
"Unless this is some sort of street lingo I need to brush up on, I think you may have accidentally contacted me. LOL!"
Observation: Heart palpitations, shortness of breath, chest discomfort, numb left arm. Hypothesis: I'm having a heart attack and I will die soon.
Being an accountant isn’t all about money, eating tuna sandwiches in the breakroom, and getting picked last for the company dodgeball team.
Just thinking about it gets me so angry. It makes me want to explicitly slice Raphael instead of the usual implicit slicing I do.