As the old saying goes, when life gives you lemons, you can either let those lemons get you down, or you can absolutely crush the shit out of those lemons by channeling the inebriated fury of Thor. Because really, if you’re going to get shafted with those sour lemons in the first place, then why half-ass it by making a lackluster, mildly sweet fruity concoction when you could instead utterly pulverize them into a powerful, highly-fermented lemon-ale with the excessive ABV needed to properly propel you through an epic and intensely satisfying temper-tantrum all the while screaming, “I AM THE GOD OF THUNDER AND DESTROYER OF TROLLS!”?

But if you’re one of the many out there who is unsure about how to embrace the life-changing temper of Thor, here are several fail-proof, tried-and-trued, centuries-old examples that illustrate how you might apply the master’s techniques to effectively destroy some of life’s typical everyday lemons, as well as grow as a person in the process.

Life gives you the lemon of an evil giant who mocks your fishing abilities.

This is always a frustrating setback to find yourself in. One minute you think you’re on an important errand with your one-handed god of war friend to get more beer-brewing supplies, and the next some dickhead giant is insulting your fishing skills. The most therapeutic thing to do in this scenario is definitely to sneak off into the woods and decapitate the giant’s best ox, then use it to bait and catch the biggest monster in the world. Once the monster bites, go ape-shit berserk and try to kill it with your magic lightning hammer—that’ll show that jerk of a giant how good you are at fishing! Then sit back and reflect on your day while sipping your lemon-ale; you are out on a fishing boat after all.

Life gives you the lemon of a deviant friend who shaves off all of your wife’s hair.

Shit, it always sucks when your deviant friend sneaks into your bedroom and shaves your wife’s head while you’re out of town on a business trip killing stupid trolls. And then to make matters worse, her hair doesn’t even grow back! That’s why the only way to maintain your chi in this situation is to flip the fuck out when you get home and threaten your trickster friend with unimaginable pain and death unless he figures out a solution. Then crack open a cold one of that frothy lemon-ale while your friend scampers off to Dwarf World in the hopes of finding an awesome golden wig for your wife to wear.

Life gives you the lemon of someone who eats your pet(s).

We’re all fond of our pets, they’re like family, and we treat them better nowadays than they’ve ever been treated before. And that’s why it’s especially not cool when some country bumpkin sucks the bone marrow out of the leg of one of your favorite goats after you’ve explicitly told him not to. This is a situation that can only be properly remedied by freaking the fuck out, and then enslaving the culprit. Thor’s lemon-ale tastes extra good when it’s being served to you by a white boy slave.

Life gives you the lemon of a horny, evil giant who steals a valuable piece of personal property.

It really sucks when you wake up in the morning and find that your magic lightning hammer has completely disappeared because some jerk of a giant somehow snuck off with it when you weren’t looking! And now without it, you can’t effectively deal with your issues, which is probably why you end up going along with what your friends suggest: trying on women’s clothing. And then when they suggest marrying the horny bastard who stole your hammer, you go along with that, too. At least until you see it at the wedding, at which point you grab the thing and start to reconnect with your inner emotions. Once all of the giants have been slain in the ensuing rampage, that special, wedding lemon-ale will be all yours for the guzzling.

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