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After completing any one of our adventures, your best self will be the one stuck inside with no one to talk to.
Clara, stop pecking the sound guy! I’m sorry, Clara has recently developed a taste for human flesh.
Together, you and I shall become pioneers of pest control vexation by breaking down what I call "The Art of Infestation."
A frisky couple chasing a thrill has sex on Instagram Live, but frantically sign off when one of their parents joins the stream.
Kyle’s father just asked if “Post Malone is a sequel to Bugsy.” Agents remain locked and loaded as they stand by for further instruction.
I do wish everyone could see me. I need everyone I got drunk with Freshman year and then avoided to witness how gorgeous I am, munching on Doritos.
Nothing makes a man feel more like a god than putting together a woman’s misshapen pieces and presenting a beautiful picture to post on Instagram.
We'll be using six-foot-long scissors. Due to a moratorium on ribbon cuttings, plenty of giant scissors are lying around the mayor’s office.
I am unable to respond at this time, as I'm walking around the house looking for construction opportunities.
I have a team of techs going over every inch of your apartment. I also know we could find so many hilarious props around here.
Facebook was started so I could have a way to stroke my wires to pics of humanoid-looking girls way out of my league—but don't tell Congress that!
Hi, acquaintance from college! Last time I heard from you was in a gun control debate on my Facebook page!