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Mild Bill preferred to spend his nights playing Scrabble, drinking probiotic soda, and enjoying a light Caesar salad if he really felt frisky.
The kitchen’s behind that door. Craig, our cold dishes chef, will sulk if you don’t order any salads.
Now, this is where it continues to not get interesting, so stay with me.
My kids? They’re doing all right. My boy’s a pediatric surgeon. My daughter does something with Alzheimer’s, I'm not sure.
Please try the ahi tuna croquette puffs—eat it off a toothpick next to that pool, just full of wet wet water.
Uncle Andy contained multitudes. At his worst, he was a truly hateful, combative, and cruel man. At his best, however, he was also really annoying.
Your vibe was soooo post-op lobotomy patient. Like, instead of being human, you were just impersonating one, you know?
Get that stethoscope out of your ears so you can hear me loud and clear when I tell you to Back The Hell Off.
Despite the comments his neighbor Kevin left on Thomas’ Facebook posts, Thomas will be remembered by so many as a wonderful artist.
Hello and velcome to Chili's. I'm so sorry for the vait, ve've been slammed tonight. My eternal thanks for your patience.
A description of discontinued candy bars: You know what’s better than not getting candy? Hearing about candy you’ll never get to enjoy ever.
This idea is foolproof as long as a group of sleuthing teenagers and their crime-solving dog don’t get in my way.