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All I wanted to do is continue the progression of time the way it has been going for all of fucking history. But suddenly the pandemic's MY fault?
I seem to have sat at a desk that was positioned in front of a “shit ton of Nerf guns.” Actually, 33 to be exact.
Thanks to their tapering form, carrots are a real bitch to peel and cut up without slicing a finger. They are an accident waiting to happen.
Let me guess, you didn’t want to carry it around with you for the rest of your walk and you planned on picking it up on your way home?
People have asked, "Braeden, how will you balance the immense responsibilities of being America's 57th Bachelor with running for the office?"
Patient says he’s over seventy years old, but he appears approximately eight years of age. Other than this red flag, clearly has commitment issues.
Watching Others Write Checks: The viewer can see whether the person writes the check and then tears it out, or tears it out first and then writes it.
Here we are. You have already used up all of my space in the first ten seconds of being at this Safeway.
We are a fully realized community with our own source of electricity and water.
Someone exclaims, "Who did this?" Someone else yells, "How did they do this?" You look around and ask, "Why did they do this?"
Now, I know how you feel about your mother giving you tips, but honey: he has a lifetime salary and great health insurance.
Teasing you about when they go on sale and then stealing them from your virtual cart in less than a millisecond is my definition of fun.