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Interview with an Instagram Poet
Have you ever considered capitalization? NO. i mean
Articles
Why Is No One Eating My Awful Potluck Dish?
What should I do? If that dish is untouched at the end of the night they'll link it back to me and never invite me to a potluck again.
Martin Scorsese Introduces the HGTV Dream Home
When we were imagining this house, I had an idea. A vision. I drew it on the back of an old napkin from the Copacabana. I called Steven, Spielberg.
We Are Truly Sorry About This Latest Data Breach
We hired a private detective named Rona Mudberry, who spent several days trying to crack the case before admitting she doesn’t really “get computers.”
This Is Just Like “1984” (The Van Halen Album)
It feels like "Diamond" David Lee Roth consulted a crystal ball and observed the world of 2026 before penning classics like "Drop Dead Legs."
Diary Entries from the Eagle Recently Hired to Eat Prometheus’s Immortal Liver for Eternity
My office’s view (a frozen summit in the Scythian Mountains) is gorg. But the taste of raw liver is growing bland.
I’m Your Radiologist Tech and I’m Not Telling You Shit
I’ll immediately learn invaluable and often extremely time sensitive information about your health. Will I tell you? Hahaha. No.
I’m a Hostage Who Can’t Stop Focusing on How This Bank Robber’s Fly Is Down
Was it like that at the hideout and in the getaway car coming here, and no one told him? Oof. No one must like this guy.
Am I Crazy for Thinking James Bond and I Shared Something Special in That Radioactive Volcano?
Sorry. This is awkward. We, uh, you know. On a raft? That was also a car? That you drove straight into the water?
An Obituary for the 90-Minute Movie
Cherished by all, the 90-minute movie entertained audiences with a well-told tale that did not require one clear an entire day to watch it.
How to Leave a Fancy Art Gallery Without Feeling like a Pretentious Monster
Step toward the exit and say, “I’m off to contemplate my own inadequacy in the sculpture garden. It’s performance art in motion.”
Monthly Budgeting for Rent, Groceries, Savings, and 30 Big Nights Out
There’s a secret to eating well on a tight budget. That secret is to not do it.