To: All Staff
From: Randy
Re: Time to Move Past the Apocalypse

Dear Team,

As you may know, last Tuesday’s apocalypse, collapse of civilization, and worldwide descent into disease, famine, rapine and blood sport has left us with Q3 challenges rivaling last year’s rollout of PeopleSoft.

Tragic for sure. Indeed, many of you have asked what impact the end of the world will have on your 401(k) match. Others would like to know what code to use for entering time in the system.

Stepping back a bit, I see two options for us going forward: One, we can lament the immensity of death, suffering, and despair that enfolds us like an unremitting nightmare; weep the loss of pets and colleagues; abandon hope as a quaint futility; and curse the rutted landscape and the seething, fluorescent atmosphere that has made a simple walk to the place where the food trucks used to be not only fatal but also pointless given that they no longer exist.

Or two, we can assess our markets, canvass our suppliers, and redeem the fiscal year by wringing revenue from calamity. Counterintuitive? No question about it. But a contrarian play right now is Just Crazy Enough to Work.

It won’t be easy. As I’ve said before, change, chaos and environmental catastrophe are always a little scary (see Randy’s Monthly Update “Change, Chaos and Environmental Catastrophe Are Always a Little Scary”). And I’ll be the first to admit that our business continuity plan overlooked the possibility of the end of time. That was a failure of imagination.

But as I’ve said before, if you sit still in business, you’ll be slaughtered like a pig (see Randy’s Monthly Update “If You Sit Still in Business, You’ll Be Slaughtered Like a Pig”). Like Bobby Kennedy said in his famous eulogy, “Some men see things as they are and adapt.”

And that’s what we’ll do. Adapt. Because change is the only constant, which is something I’ve said before (see Randy’s Monthly Update “Change Is the Only Constant”).

We’ve done it before. I was never so proud as how we responded to COVIDs 19, 20A, 20B, and waves 2 through 5 of 20D (I think we can all agree that 20C was a heartbreak). We can make it through this thing, too.
Certainly, we’re facing some headwinds. The experts say that’s the fallout. And no doubt you and what’s left of your families are facing some challenges, too, especially on work/life balance.

We're sensitive to those kinds of thingst. I’ve made that point before (see Randy’s Monthly Update “The Kinds of Things We're Sensitive To”). That’s why I’ve tasked Dot Grissom in HR to develop a plan. I haven’t heard back from Dot yet, but I’m sure—certainly hopeful—that she’ll post something soon. Keep your eyes peeled, so to speak.

None of us is happy about what’s happened. And we’ll have plenty of time for scapegoating and recrimination (see Randy’s Monthly Update “Time for Scapegoating and Recrimination”).

But while we may be tempted to blame this or that authoritarian lunatic who proved only too willing to torch the planet to protect his egg-shell ego, remember that most of them are our clients. So leave it alone.

Our task right now is to dust ourselves off, reattach what's left of our skin and get that skin back in the game!

I’ll be back with another update next month. Ideally. Until then, remember that united we stand, divided we resort to cannibalism in a ghastly, dehumanizing bid for survival in a ruined world, as I’ve said before (see Randy’s Monthly Update “United We Stand, Divided We Resort to Cannibalism in a Ghastly, Dehumanizing Bid for Survival in a Ruined World”).

Stay safe!