It’s totally fine that he didn't text me back.

I mean I did ask a direct question and it would only have taken a few seconds to respond, but I’m fine that he didn’t answer. I’m moving on with my day. I’ll start by getting dressed and making a pot of coffee.


Wow, that coffee was good, robust. Alright, let me check my phone. No response? That’s completely cool. I’m sure he’s just busy. Everyone is so busy right now, you know with the mandate to stay inside and do nothing. I’ll just play with my dog for a little bit.


Ok, Rover is tired from tug-of-war, I’ll just peek at my phone for one second. Oh yes! A notification! Ah, it’s from my meditation app asking how calm I’m feeling today. No text back.

It’s completely fine. He’s definitely going to answer, something must be delaying him like work or a complete lack of interest in me as a person. I’m just going to get a PhD really quick and I’m sure by the time I’m done he will have texted back.


Phew! That dissertation was a doozy but I earned my PhD in astrophysics. Let me just check my phone real quick. Wow! 900 messages in the last four years. None from him though, he didn’t text back. Maybe he hasn’t checked his phone in awhile. I’m sure the response is coming. I’m just going to launch a campaign for President of the United States and maybe by my inauguration he will have texted me back.


Great news for feminists everywhere! I’m the first female president of the United States of America. Little girls around the nation have seen what they’re capable of. I shattered the ultimate glass ceiling. In other news, he didn’t text me back. However, my campaign did text him asking if we could count on his support and he responded “STOP” in all caps. Which I take to mean, “STOP, of course I’m voting for her, are you kidding?” Anyway, still waiting on a response to my question. I think I’ll just take a quick trip to Mars to check on the whole colonizing situation and I’ll check my notifications when I get back.


I’m back on Earth after discovering life on Mars. I broke bread with an alien family who told me the secrets of the universe. They gave me a potion that can cure all of the world’s diseases with one drop. I’m literally going to save humanity. I check my phone. No text back. Haha, it’s cool. Maybe my text message went to his spam folder. I’ll just send a quick, non-threatening question mark. Meanwhile, I’m just going to go die of old age, maybe by the time I’m buried six feet in the ground he will have texted me back.


Helooo0o0o0oo, I am a ghost spending her afterlife working Disney’s Haunted Mansion ride. They pay good money for real ghosts to hang out in there. What can I say? Capitalism follows you into the beyond. The grind never stops. But my graveyard shift is over now so I’m going to go check my phone. No text. The gals at work are saying he ghosted me. But there’s no way, he’s just been tied up with something important for the past 60 years. I’m tired of Disney so I’m just going to pass through the veil into the next world and when I get there I’m confident there will be one… a bright, shiny notification from him.


I’m in the beyond. There’s a lot going on here that mortals don’t have the brainpower to understand. You’ll see when you get here. Until then, if you see Trevor, tell him I still have my phone but like…I’m totally fine that he didn’t text me back.


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