I Explain Social Media to the Ghost of My Great-Grandfather
"That resembles nothing of a telephone, and I should know, I once lost a beloved terrier to Alexander Graham Bell in an ill-advised wager."
Tag: Ghosts
Sorry Cowards, But Normal Vases Are Cancelled
If I see an unattended Mason jar, you’re goddamn right that I’m filling it with marbles, lemon slices, and a few artistically disheveled wheat stems.
Disappointing: The Groundskeeper Faking the Haunting in the House I Just Inherited to Try to Scare Me Off Is Barely Even Trying
I caught him watching old episodes of Scooby-Doo and scribbling in a notebook. He was mumbling things like, “Oooh, that’s a good one to plagiarize.”
List: 10 Steps to Having the Perfect Conference Call
Reintroduce every person to ensure there are no people "ghosts" on the call. Remember that there will, however, be actual "ghosts" on the call.
It’s My Birthday Year!
QUARTER-BIRTHDAY: We'll kick things off with a low-key brunch nine months in advance of my birthday.
Eight Reasons Why 2019 is Going to Be a Big Year for My Hometown’s Minor League Baseball Team, The Woodborough Egg Boys
The Tar Pits Behind Third Base Have Been Filled In: The nostalgic need not worry; the sickening smell of sulfur still permeates the entire stadium.
Leaked Emails of a Hollywood Executive Desperately Pitching a Coen Brothers Cinematic Universe
How about this: It’s 2000 in LA, and Walter Sobchak & The Dude are bowling, when who should walk in, but none other than Marge Gunderson!
So, You Thought You Could Just Buy That Thrift Store Jacket Without Consequences? You Fool!
Did you consider that maybe the cookie-cake-related dream had something to do with the jacket that says “Great American Cookie Company” on the back?
Updating Christmas Stories and Songs for the Modern World
"It’s A Wonderful Life": George and Mary’s kids, Pete, Janie, Tommy, and Zuzu, all die because George and Mary refused to have them vaccinated.
5 Tastefully Decorated Tiny Homes That Also Happen to Be Haunted
Drive down a country road, past a bucolic house with spectral corpses in the trees, and you’ll see this beautiful tiny home: 500 square feet of bliss.