100% Natural Cotton Knit | Boho Bohemian — Throw Blankets for Your Body — Large
Boycott? More like buy-cotton! This cotton blanket is so competitively priced that everyone else dropped out of the competition for some reason. Have this stylish-addition-to-any-seating-arrangement dropped off at your doorstep with a speed that begs “Did the delivery guy run here?” and “Why, is he okay?” Take a sitting-up nap in your living room under this innovation of inventory management and distribution!
Lightweight Extra Plush Fleece, Super Soft Extra Warm Knit, Comfort Extra Throw Extra Blanket — 50″ x 60″ — Decorative Blanket for Couch
Curl up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, a cold beer, and this ultra-soft blanket! The perfect throw to nestle into on your couch as you watch Francis McDormand package boxes seasonally at an Amazon warehouse as she struggles with poverty and grief. Swaddle yourself from the reality that profit-sharing seems to have permanently transferred from worker to shareholder. Cozy!
Luxury Faux Fur, Fuzzy Wuzzy Wuzza Bear, (Machine Washable), Throw Blanket — Brown
Sleep through this monumental effort to unionize in style with this luxurious couch-throw classic! Snuggling up in this fuzzy blanket, you can almost smell the tens of thousands of dollars spent each day by Amazon to thwart the unionization effort. Naptime just wouldn’t be complete without large-scale workers' rights violations!
Sherpa Adult Weighted Blanket | 15 pounds Fresh Adult Blanket — 5000” x 6000”
This blanket will exert a light downward pressure on you as you rest, like the light pressure of only having two, 30-minute breaks during the ten-hour workday. Have yourself a nice heavy couch sleep with the same weight as someone whose job title is “Anti-Union Consultant.” Simulates how the free hand of the market would hug you, if it gave out hugs to anybody. And if this weighted blanket won’t hold you down, Amazon may be willing to do it themselves if you are one of their warehouse workers or a competing mom-and-pop retailer.
Knit Woven Size (Solid) Touch/Ultra Chenille Blanket… With Sleeves! For Women
Amazon may be vertically integrated, but you’re about to get horizontally integrated with this loungy-time favorite! Knitted directly from the fabric of bipartisan support for unionization, this blanket will show labor advocates in Georgia that it is always a good time for a little R & R: Repress & Refrain from leveraging your collective power. A perfect throw blanket to curl up with a book, available mostly on Amazon, or to watch a movie or TV show, also available on Amazon, or with a pint of low-cal ice cream from Whole Foods, which they also own too… Or maybe just go on a walk! Put on the shoes that you bought from Zappo’s…
Whatever. Also check out Amazon’s easy-to-use and healthy air fryers to fill Jeff Bezos’s pool with money so he can dive into it like Scrooge McDuck!