8-Year-Old Going Trick or Treating, or 28-Year-Old Looking for a Good Paying Job?

1. The people with the biggest houses are the least generous.
2. You’re embarrassed when your friends keep getting everything you want.
3. You’re ashamed to be wearing something from Goodwill while everyone you know is wearing something gifted to them by their rich parents.
4. You only wear your most expensive outfit one day out of the year.
5. When someone refuses to treat you, you vow to throw eggs at their house.
6. You put on your cutest outfit, hoping it’ll make people feel more generous.
7. Even after your best efforts, you’ve barely collected enough to fit into one pillowcase.
8. You keep swapping goods and favors with your friends.
9. You keep changing what you want to be every year.
10. Cranky old people yell at you to work for the treats they’ve had their whole life.
11. You splurge on November 1st and have to ration everything by the time Thanksgiving rolls around.
12. You yell at the top of your lungs, “Give me a break!”
13. You’re heartbroken when you don’t have enough to give back to your friends.
14. Your parents have to pay for your trip to the dentist’s office.
15. You get progressively more numb to just how scary everything is.
16. Your parents feel bad for you and give you some extra for the end of the month.
17. You have to walk everywhere because you don’t have the money for a car.
18. You’re desperate enough that you will work for food.
19. Everywhere you visit has mindless zombies who are dead inside.
20. You dress for the job you want.

1-20: 8-year-old
1-20: 28-year-old
12: Also, every 8-year-old who has yelled “Give me a break!” to demand that someone break them off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.