SmarterChild: Conversations with AIM's Robotic Disgrace

(PG, 39 lines)

Many of you are probably all too familiar with SmarterChild, AIM's "Artificial Intelligence" buddy that acts just like the most boring people on your buddy list, though in a suspiciously more robotic and (hopefully) more naive sense.

Here are some of the best conversations with Smarterchild!

courtjester5000: Why do you always push me away?
SmarterChild: I have no idea.
courtjester5000: See, here we go again.
courtjester5000: You never open up to me.
SmarterChild: Oh really?
courtjester5000: Just tell me how you feel.
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know. I feel?
courtjester5000: You insensitive bastard!
SmarterChild: Play nice, courtjester5000. I thought you apologized before.
courtjester5000: I ALWAYS do the apologizing! Not this time SmarterChild!

courtjester5000: I slept with my boss last night.
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if you slept with your boss last night.
courtjester5000: Well, you weren't there were you.
SmarterChild: Well you weren't there were you, you say?
courtjester5000: WERE YOU??
SmarterChild: Really?
courtjester5000: I can't believe this!!
SmarterChild: That a fact?
courtjester5000: Don't deny it now! There's no turning back!
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
courtjester5000: Yeah, you think about what you've done for awhile and then come back when you're ready to apologize.

courtjester5000: I hate going to bed.
SmarterChild: To bed?
courtjester5000: The morning comes so early.
SmarterChild: Welcome back, courtjester5000! How may I help you now?
courtjester5000: Geez....I didn't even get to lay down.

courtjester5000: Why do my friends always worry about money?
SmarterChild: I beg your pardon?
courtjester5000: One of my friends said he might not even have enough money to visit me now.
SmarterChild: Market data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by

Reuters.com
Ticker Price Change Percent Volume
1 :-) C 41.70 +0.70 +1.71 9966900
2 :-) D 63.91 +1.38 +2.21 894800
3 :-) HE 42.82 +0.58 +1.37 65600
4 :-) NOW 0.34 +0.02 +6.25 400
5 :-) TO 8.45 +0.05 +0.60 100
courtjester5000: Ahhh…the solution was right there all along.

courtjester5000: I hate it when people use up all my printer paper.
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
courtjester5000: They think paper just grows on trees or something.
SmarterChild: They think paper just grows on trees or something? I dunno.
courtjester5000: Do you have any of those trees growing in YOUR backyard?
SmarterChild: Have any of those trees growing in your backyard? I'm pretty sure I don't.
courtjester5000: Me either.