My mom took my dad's name—and fingerprints, and mustache, and a high-resolution scan of his face with a state-of-the-art LIDAR device.
I’ll go put the power washer back in the garage. No more power washing today.
Do I look like the life of the party? It took me a solid ninety minutes to work up the nerve to even step out onto the floor!
To pull off the ruse, hook your David’s Bridal dress on one of the striated rocks protruding from the cliffside. Make sure it really snags and tears.
Here they come—the very few remaining loved ones that will still attend this charade. There’s Grandpa Ernie, wearing his pajamas.
The U15-Humanoid Robot was granted independence by the Government or Earth, and the first thing it decided to do was find a human to marry.
We will have an authentic Old Crone sitting in the back of your wedding venue, looking out of place and muttering curses under her breath.
I don’t even have the mental energy to try to win her back because your little stunt has put me in such an awful financial situation.
Seeing you both now, I think we will sue. Sorry—I think we will. SUE, and Noah, you are clearly blessed.
The first thing I noticed was my temporary roommates smiled and clapped each time they saw the Grinch’s glorious glutes.
Subscription to the Nonrefundable Security Deposit Wine of the Month Club – Let them drown their sorrows with Funk Band Bordeaux or Bouquet of Rosé.
It sounds like it’s coming from… Oh, Dave says it’s his heart beating quick, stealing glances at his beautiful new bride.