Weddings | Page 5 | Points in Case

Tag: Weddings

You hope to start a family because... A) You want to have babies with him. B) You want to raise your children under her shadow government.

Using the Instagram photos you got at the wedding, pick your poison: "does improv," "romantic photos with sibling," or "talks a lot about sneakers."

Spending the night with your wife is now HAVING A SLEEPOVER WITH YOUR BESTIE. Dinner dates are now EATING WINGS WHILE YOU GOSSIP ABOUT NON-BESTIES.

A female human getting married will choose her favorite female friends and force them to all wear the same dress for the big day.

Do you promise to never fake orgasms or moon landings? Will you open your heart to your spouse’s family, friends, and cabals?

Consider adding custom lace and sequins suggestive of gills and scales. Guests will soon forget the piles of rotting fish heaped on the shoreline.

I know we aren’t particularly close, but we do have a ton of friends in common, which means it would be a lot of fun for me to go to your wedding.

The couple described the aesthetic of the reception venue as farmhouse chic. Notably, the bridesmaids were dressed as mason jars.

"The stone was my Great Aunt Shelley’s! But keep that to yourself... if she knows I stole it from her, she’ll cut me out of her will."

You can’t even invite people over to your disgusting apartment? Jorge has a beautiful apartment and he doesn’t share it with four “artists.”

The Bride of Frankenstein and I actually had a lot in common. Like her, my fiercest critics have also called me an affront to God.

Looking for your perfect man? Try wandering around in the pouring rain, pretending you’re a beautiful lost tourist in need of directions.