My Wife Has Put Her Foot Down: No More Sexting the Bride of Frankenstein
The Bride of Frankenstein and I actually had a lot in common. Like her, my fiercest critics have also called me an affront to God.
The Bride of Frankenstein and I actually had a lot in common. Like her, my fiercest critics have also called me an affront to God.
Looking for your perfect man? Try wandering around in the pouring rain, pretending you’re a beautiful lost tourist in need of directions.
The name starts with an A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N---yes, I see you nodded in agreement---I mean my psychic premonitions confirmed it.
Oh, this is one of our newest and my personal favorite lines: rings made from melted-down scooter wheels
Don't dwell on your decision to crush that hitchhiker’s skull after listening to your partner suck lettuce from their molar for the last seven exits.
Explore and investigate the strange scraping sounds, trap doors in the floor, and that creepy voice that keeps whispering your name late at night.
I sent another text last night. I get that 3 AM is late, but that’s why I made all of you set your text tones to the sound of your children crying!
The anecdote of how you got the Sublime sun tattoo on your arm was, well, compelling, but my wife-to-be has never listened to "40 Oz. to Freedom."
Saturday, 3 pm --- Remembering the moment where everything could have gone differently
I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.
Sophie was able to hold one of the Infinity Rings--wedding rings forged from the six singularities present before the creation of the universe.
Nazeema is currently on her honeymoon in a country that she can't pronounce or point out on a map. I can pronounce, "kiwi."