Error: Place all scanned items in the bagging area, even the 50-pound bag of dog food. Figure it out. The rules of our game have been made very clear.
Have you been getting some emails that seem Phishy? This is PayPal, btw. The real PayPal. How can you know? You’ll get a gut feeling inside.
McDonald’s Menu Items Ranked by How Effective They Were at Giving Me the Nutrients I Needed to Break into Ronald McDonald’s Mansion and Try On His Clothes
A 30-Inch Footprint That I Touched and Then Tasted So I Could Begin Tracking Ronald: Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to murmur, “He’s near…”
Why do I have a safety deposit box at Epcot full of cash, character location maps, and over one hundred trading pins?
Everyone Is Focusing on Me Dressing as a Grannie to Steal the Vaccine and Not on My Sick-Ass Costume
We researched it, okay? This wasn’t some half-ass throw on a scarf and call yourself Edna, intro-to-theatre-101 skit.
We at Fatty Matty’s Quakin’ Baconz do not assume liability for any health complications and/or death that may arise from the "DOIN’ IT RAW" special.
The Rules I Must Never Break in Order to Keep My Job Wringing the Oil Out of Tom Cruise’s Hair While He Calls Me a Neanderthal
When Mr. Cruise shouts his most favored insult at me, I must be grateful and verbally show him my appreciation with a delighted squeal.
The One Attached to a Wire, Flying Over the Intersection: She’s in mid-air without a care in the world. She’s your manic pixie dream light.
The past six years have been rewarding and have not been a "suck chamber" where I’ve "eagerly counted down until my death."
Bespoke Tom Ford rapid response tactical outerwear - $475,000 / “Good cop, bad cop” improv lessons - $36,000 / Body camera software updates - $3.50
For verification purposes, please tag a public post that was clearly intended to be an embarrassing private message to you from that parent.
2. Passwords must contain the word that best describes how you feel about your parents’ 1993 divorce. Your selection: pizza2betrayal