The Vlad Quartet Is Not Playing at Ronnie Scotts
"Hello, this is Valedy calling. So sorry I missed the gig. I got pranked. Somebody nailed my coffin shut. By the time I got out, it was the next day."
Tag: Satire
Sharks, I’m the Tooth Fairy and I’m Looking for Investors
Ever gaze over your huge pile of thousands of children's teeth and ask yourself, "How can I make this mountain of kid teeth even larger?"
Well, I Guess You’ll Have to Wait Until Next Year to See My New Collection of Springtime Hats
If it were any other June, I too would be playing squash and basking in the sun’s rays, but this year is different.
Apartment Rules That May or May Not Relate to the Recent Cult Activity
If you happen to hear chanting outside of quiet hours, please do not respond by screaming out, “You call that chanting? I’ll show you chanting!”
Judd Apatow Endings of Classic Hollywood Films
"Titanic": The tryst (an additional 56 minutes of footage) enables 100-year-old Rose to learn more about herself and what she wants out of life.
As the Commissioner of Major League Baseball, My Job Is to Give Fans Exactly What They Want: As Little Baseball as Possible
I've been accused of only looking out for the owners, which is patently false. The products—I mean players!—are my absolute top priority
I Hope This Email Finds You
My boss trusted me enough to get coffee and sometimes even pick up an occasional muffin. In addition, I became well-versed in Excel.
5 Incredibly Stupid Things That Would Still Make Way More Sense to Commemorate Than the Confederacy
When IHOP changed its name to IHOB for like 2 weeks. Was it stupid? Was it as stupid as 11 states fighting to maintain the right to own human beings?
I’m Your Random Chin Hair, and I’m Pleading for My Life
Since I showed up, did I bother you? Now suddenly, because you look into a magnifying mirror for the first time in months, I'm a problem?
We Are Time-Traveling High School Students with an Urgent Plea: Stop Making History
We're only a few weeks into our "Modern World: January to December 2020" AP course and holy shit is it kicking our asses.
I’d Like to Add 50 More Weeks to My Two Week’s Notice
The past six years have been rewarding and have not been a "suck chamber" where I’ve "eagerly counted down until my death."
Antifa Job Postings, According to Republicans
Have experience with peaceful protesting but want to take it to the NEXT LEVEL? Often described as "the last person someone would suspect of being a criminal"?