Satire | Page 124 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

The iPhone knows it’s not “chill” to say this, but she prefers the pandemic life. She’s happier now!

Do you know how expensive microchips are? I didn’t become a billionaire by just going around giving away MICROCHIPS all the time!

And what about my heart, my battery? Fifteen years and still going strong. Always keeps its charge.

Tall, blonde, and glamorous goblins with mullets, breaking out in song, will banish teenagers to bogs that smell of fecal matter, among other things.

Well, well, well, take a look at who has an unexpected item in their bagging area.

I just feel that the spark is gone. I’m not talking about the sparks that cause raging wildfires and destroy my forests.

What wizard? No, I haven’t seen the wizard. Do I look like I’m the sort of bloke who hob-nobs with wizards?

Even when I call shotgun, I’m still belted into the driver’s seat because that’s how badly we’re micro-managed.

Skip the endless interplanetary travels and instead, parachute your rovers from Earth orbit into the welcoming atmosphere of San Asino’s city park.

I would love nothing more than to coat him in a honey glaze and roast him over a fire until his internal temperature is 145 degrees.

Due to many frightful circumstances relating to galactic space evil, I must speak over discretely email.

"His sneakers are kind of beat up, but that just shows he's a man of values, of integrity. Everyone respects him for this."