Are You at Thanksgiving Dinner, or Are You a Character in the “Star Wars” Prequels?
-Despite it being fairly obvious, your pregnant friend’s wife won’t say who the father of her baby is.
Tag: Holidays
This Year I’m Not Going to Eat All of the Candy I Bought for the Trick-or-Treaters
The big bag is a safer purchase. Now it won’t be the end of the world if I have one. I’d hate to disappoint the kids two years in a row.
Other Days of Awe
The one spring day every year in New York City in which it is neither torrentially sleeting nor 95 degrees and humid.
Create Your Own Fiscal New Year’s Eve Rom-Com
“On fiscal new year’s eve, there’s no accounting for love.”
I Hath Avenged Thy Foul and Most Unnatural Murder, But I Am Still in a Fairly Bad Place Myself
‘Twas something of a bloodbath, all told, but was this not what thou asked for? Well, Happy Father’s Day.
A One-Sided Conversation at a Grill That You Didn’t Start and Can’t Get Out Of
I’m going to take a beer. Man. Beeeeautiful. Nothing like a nice day– Flip that. That’s done. It’s burnt.
Simon Says Issues Apology Letter to His Mother
Not only is the third-person thing annoying, but it ends up sounding like a command. Simon says raise your hand if you want to slap me for that.
The 12 Months of Midwestern Winter
May: The Memento effect begins to set in as the temperature starts to go up. You start to hear people say things like "Winter wasn’t even that bad."
What She Really Wants This Ides of March
A quiet night in with 60 or more Roman Senators – Don't overthink it! If she's a down-to-earth type, this all she wants on March 15.
Babe, I Didn’t Forget Valentine’s Day—I’m Just Going All Out for Sweetest Day
Sweetest Day is better and not until October 16th, so I'm actually way early in already talking about it.
Cuomo’s COVID-Safe Reopening Plan Expanded to All 2021 State-Recognized Holidays
May 5 – Cinco de Mayo: IVs previously containing live-saving antivirals and convalescent plasmas will be replaced with frozen margaritas.
A Love Letter to My Valentine, Catastrophic Thoughts, On Our First Anniversary
Or how about that day in April when I forget to wash the Cheetos bag? I fell into a fetal position, and I knew you were my soul mate.