Oh my god, I literally have nothing to put on my college applications. Why did you let me quit cross country?
When I give blood, does the needle the doctors use make a hole in my arm that a ghost could get into?
Q; What happened to Leonard? A: Leonard was catapulted through a vibrating and glowing door frame into a space between dimensions.
A prophecy that predicted the deaths of all three of my children was recently fulfilled, but I look fierce as hell in this pixie cut, AMA.
Will my introvert get along with other introverts? Absolutely! Tenderly move them to a safe space for them to bond over their feelings or whatever.
Does your "improv team" go by a cute-ish, possibly pun-based name like "Nutz and Boltz," "Bad Uncle Jimmy," or "The Proud Boys"?
Focus on a few key accomplishments that highlight your strengths: Were you responsible for major bloodshed at your last position? An innovative new flaying technique?
Mere moments after meeting her, she begins choking violently. A quick Heimlich produces an unsettling amount of used condoms. YES / NO
"It's taking up a third of your neck and appears to have green veins extending from it. This can't be good." -Dr. Jennifer Miller, DDS
Ask your doctor if Gamora is right for you. If your doctor says it is, wow, that’s a pretty ballsy doctor you've got there. I mean, this shit can literally kill you.
Usually Anthony Scaramucci likes to be called "Mr. Scaramucci," "CEO Scaramucci," or "The Dark Lord of Business." But he'll also answer to "Tony Scrambled Eggs."
Career Aptitude Test (And Definitely Not Just Recruitment Material Sponsored by Ocean Spray Cranberries, Inc.)
Would people describe you as: A) a creative free-thinker with an "outside the box" mentality, B) a process-oriented manager focused on the big picture, or C) a cranberry farmer?