Congratulations on completing the Sitter Center® Introduction to Babysitting Course! Being a babysitter requires hard work, patience, and resourcefulness, but it can also be highly rewarding. Plus, it’s your only option now that you’ve been furloughed!

Please refer to the following list of FAQs if you encounter any difficulties or unholy behaviors on future jobs.

1. How do I prepare for my first day?
Before you arrive, talk to parents about their expectations. Find out how many children you will be watching, how old they are, and whether or not they’ve been baptized.

2. Should I plan activities for the kiddos in advance?
Yes! Come prepared with fun ideas like building a pillow fort or hosting a stuffed animal tea party. Playing outdoors can also be fun, but make sure to avoid unsafe areas like large bodies of water or ancient burial grounds.

3. What should I do if I have questions while I’m babysitting?
Never hesitate to reach out to parents if you encounter any issues on the job, such as, “Where do you keep the diapers?” or, “The lights start flickering when your daughter loses in CandyLand, is that typical for children her age?”

4. The child I’m caring for is only eight months old, but he’s already pretty adept at the fiddle. Is this normal?
Absolutely! Musical proficiency is very common in changelings. If he’s looking for a soul to steal, he may even perform classics like, “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.”

5. I’m sorry… did you say changelings?
I sure did. What did you think was happening here?

6. Should I be scared?
If you are experiencing feelings of panic or terror, do your best not to show it. Regardless of their affiliation with Satan, all children can smell fear.

7. One of the kids is misbehaving. Is it okay for me to issue a time-out?
Absolutely. A good rule is to give one minute of time-out for each year of the child's age. Just make sure the time-out area is durable and safeguarded against powers of intangibility.

8. My charge wants a bedtime snack. Should I allow it?
It’s fine to let kids have a small, healthy snack, such as apple slices or carrots, before bed. Gently decline requests for a glass of human blood, but do offer warm milk as a substitute.

9. He also wants a snack for his imaginary friend, Tony. Should I indulge this?
Hmm… has Tony mentioned anything about Room 217?

10. Nope.
In that case, you’re good! Tony can also have a snack.

11. Gah! I just told the oldest child it’s time for bed and she burst into a ball of flames. What should I do?!
Calmly remind her that she won’t get a sticker on her behavior chart if she doesn’t follow directions. Then, make sure she’s wearing her Carter’s flame-retardant pajamas and place a fire extinguisher beside the ring of salt around her bed. (For extra help, click here for the Sitter Center® Guide To Performing Exorcisms.)

12. Seriously, I’m getting nervous. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
It definitely wasn’t a good idea! But it’s too late to back out now, and let’s face it, this is still an upgrade from your last job on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Nevertheless, you may want to consider increasing your hourly rate.


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