The phone is for calling the bullpen, not pranking the loser ump by telling him his wife is in labor.
If the Mouth Police catch you they send you to mega jail. It’s like jail but bigger and where my rebel dad is.
I separate emotion from logic and wield my mighty Trident of Critical Thinking, which is a normal trident that I use to emphasize my pronouncements.
Honey Bunches of Oats > A Small Amount of Good Stuff Swimming in a Large Amount of Oats