Do you have any studios?

Do you have anything smaller than a studio, kind of like a storage unit for a human body?

I love the natural light! Hey, what’s your best listing for someone whose dream living situation is being asleep?

Does this building allow pets, or for residents to abuse horse tranquilizers?

Does this building’s gym have a The Rock type who can beat me into a coma if I beg?

Does this apartment have a laundry machine, and just out of curiosity, has anyone discovered a way to wash the mind?

Do any of your units have one of those human sleep pods from The Matrix? You know, with the goo?

Are you familiar with hyper sleep, like they used for extended space travel in Alien or Aliens?

Is the government currently testing hyper sleep on civilians in any of your listings?

Is this the same Frigidaire they used to super-freeze Austin Powers?

What if instead of paying you a broker’s fee, I paid you $1,000 just to hold my hand?

How did you know I don’t have $1,000?

Is this building’s fiber-optic cable powerful enough to upload my consciousness to the cloud, like in Amazon’s new show Upload?

Are these apples decorative or are they sleepy apples like from Snow White?

Speaking of Sleeping Beauty, does this building’s amenities include a cursed loom?

You know how this apartment comes with a parking space? What if instead of parking a car, I parked a unit that does whatever they're doing to Walt Disney's head?

Does the lobby TV have a remote control that fast forwards through bad, like in the Adam Sandler movie Click?

Would you have any listings starting in 2022 and also a DeLorean to take me to then?

Have you met other apartment seekers who seem generally ok and how are they like that?

Was Rip Van Winkle real or is that made up?


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