Teaching My Ignorant Dog and Cat About Sex
A lot of animals out there haven't had the proper education when it comes to sex, which is obvious from all of the stupid YouTube videos of idiot dogs humping each other's heads.
Tag: Cats
How to Tell If Your Cat is Homophobic
Homophobic Tell #2: Your cat tries scratching your eyes out whenever Modern Family is on. Uh-oh, it looks like Mr. Whiskers needs some tough love.
I Wish Cats Would Get Depressed Like the Rest of Us (Especially Me)
I got a cat to cheer me up, and frankly I've never been more miserable. If only cats got depressed, that sure would brighten up my day.
“Cats” Returns to Broadway – Letters to the Editor
"Thank you for your piece on the return of cats to our city. The problem of stray and homeless pets plagues communities across our nation."
4 Reasons “Nine Lives” is the Craziest Movie Nobody is Watching
Kevin Spacey's switching-bodies-with-a-cat movie is surprisingly not the kid's comedy its billed as. No, this is some dark, Lynchian-level stuff.
An Open Letter to Jay-Z and Beyoncé, My Roommates’ Neglected Cats
At night you claw at my door to let you in, hoping in vain that you might find more affection from me. It's become too much really.
The 5 Cats You’ll Have to Euthanize Before You Find Mr. Right
The fact is there's only room for one lazy prick in each lady's household. So, once you've made the decision that a man can ignore you in ways a cat just can't...
Cat Hate Metal
I’m Washing My Butt! I’m Washing My Balls! Dogs are Gay! Humans can stiff my Litterbox! Cat Scratch Feces! Give you Brain Damage! I Hate Fish! I Hate Birds!
Seven Reasons to Put Your Cat in the Microwave
Think about it, why not put your cat in the microwave? Last I heard (and contrary to what our "president" seems to think), this is still a free country. Just do it.
It’s Time We Educated Our Male Cats About Rape Culture
Following my male cat's attempt to have sex with his sister, I realized that the real problem is endemic to the culture of rape in which he, and all cats, live.
Your Cat Hates You, Guaranteed
Your cat views you as its food whore and excretion technician during the day. At night, your cat sits in the dark like an egg-laying hen, fantasizing your end days.
Photographer Seeks Feline Subjects for Sexy Shoot
Are you looking for a fun, creative, and provocative way to spend time with your cat? SEXY CAT INDUSTRIES™ will take your cat to the next level with LINGERIE!