“This film is presented in a 4:3 format to preserve the integrity of Zack Snyder’s creative vision.”
—The Verge, “You will watch the Snyder Cut in 4:3 aspect ratio because HBO Max respects cinema” 3/18/21


Joe Rogan’s poorly formed thoughts and analogies are presented by 4.3 million bro-subscribers to preserve the integrity of Casper Mattresses. Your mattress matters.

United States of Al is presented on CBS 43 to preserve the integrity of Chuck Lorre’s bank account.

Musicians will be presented with 4.3% of one-hundredth of one cent per stream to preserve Spotify’s integral profit margins.

Elon Musk’s latest infuriating tweet is presented by 43,000 retweets to preserve the integrity of his reputation as a rich doofus.

Tenet is presented in a 4:3 format to preserve HBO Max’s dominance over Christopher Nolan’s creative vision.

The Mona Lisa painting is presented with approximately 430 tourists constantly standing in front of the piece, preserving the integrity of Mona Lisa’s smile.

Minute details of a singular reference are presented over 43 different Marvel movies in the MCU to preserve Marvel’s integrity among their most ardent fan and comic book nerd, Darren.

And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street will be forcibly presented 43 times by Ben Shapiro in its original format to his children to preserve the integrity of Dr. Seuss’ racist caricatures.

Infinite Jest is presented with 4,300 footnotes to preserve the integrity of David Foster Wallace’s bandana-obstructed vision.

The Babylon Bee’s articles on AOC are presented 43 times a day to preserve the website’s lack of: integrity, satire, and basic understanding of politics and human decency.

A gratuitous sex scene is presented 4 times for every 3 scenes that serve the actual plot to preserve the integrity of George R.R. Martin’s horny-fantasy series.

J.K. Rowling presents 4 previously unknown, and very unnecessary, details about Hogwarts’ plumbing system per 3 TERF remarks on Twitter to preserve the integrity of the argument “separate the art from the artist.”

Disney’s Song of the South is not presented and in fact never existed, thus preserving Disney’s integrity and non-problematic history.

Fox News’ current news coverage will be presented with 4 segments on fake outrage per 3 segments taking the wrong side of a real issue to supposedly preserve the integrity of the Constitution and also Ronald Reagan.

This satire piece is presented with 4 reps you’ll enjoy for every 3 you’ll write an angry internet comment about to preserve the author’s integrity as a “hit-or-miss” comedian.

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