This is a great way to break into our industry!
This is a great way to learn how to fix a printer.

Our kitchen is stocked with delicious snacks.
When we send you to buy the snacks, we’ll tell you to choose healthy options then lose our shit when you have the nerve to show up with Whole Wheat Cheez-Its. Seriously, whole wheat? Are we Puritans?

This is a once-in-a-lifetime networking opportunity.
I swear to god if you try to network with me for even a single moment I will flip the card table we’re making you use as a desk.

You will get the chance to do substantive projects. No kitchen duty for our interns!
Taking initiative means different things to different people, and to us, it means taking this cereal bowl and its quarter-inch of tepid milk to the dishwasher.

Past interns have gone on to work for amazing companies!
Past interns have forgotten their place and are now demanding “money” for their “labor.”

We value people who are passionate about our field.
You’re falling for this, aren’t you?

A small transportation stipend will be provided.
If you work up the courage to ask about this a month after your start date, I’ll say “Oh, you wanted that?” while handing you my own MetroCard, because honestly, I copy-and-pasted the job description and didn’t edit that part out. But you enjoy that $4.27, champ. You earned it.

We’ll work with your college career office to make sure you get credit.
You’ll work with your college career office to make sure that we’re never again allowed to recruit there.

We will reach out to you if your qualifications meet our needs.
We will reach out to you if your needs are met by your parents.

What we lack in monetary compensation, we make up for in fun!
We lack monetary compensation.