Congrats on the blossoming romance! I know what you’re thinking: this guy seems great. He’s tall; he’s cute; he’s successful. Now comes the fun and inventive part: deciding what to do with all of those red flags you ignored from the first date.
Photo Backdrop: Next time you have a party, your guests will be blown away by the crimson backdrop hanging in your living room. Take that red flag—specifically, the controlling nature exhibited by the fact that he ordered for you at dinner instead of letting you do so yourself—and turn it into a cute photo corner. Get yourself a ring light and go crazy, girl!
Whimsical Scarf: You’ve watched The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and you were rightly envious of all those great fashion moments. Take that little red flag he dropped when he said he “he doesn’t really watch movies directed by women” and fashion it into a sharp necktie or head scarf for a windy drive.
Tapestry: Phew! That sure was a big red flag, folded up all nice, when he asked you to meet him in a sketchy part of town around 9pm for your first date. Here’s the good news: you can unfurl that flag and turn it into a cool tapestry behind your bed. We suggest pairing it with some glittery lights and a rustic pair of deer antlers.
Picnic Blanket: Was that actually a red flag when he claimed at three different points that “all of his exes are crazy?” Nope—it’s your next Sunday afternoon in the sun. Take that red flag to your local park with some wine and cheese and enjoy a nice picnic.
Insta-Model Skirt: You know the one: it’s a bit shimmery, and it’s ankle length, and somehow all those girls on the ‘gram look great even if they’re trying to tuck a ridiculously chunky sweater into it and wear it with a mule shoe. Your search for the perfect skirt is OVER, and it’s debuting in a bold red! Dust off the way that he was rude to your waiter and pin that high waist.
Handkerchief to Wipe Tears: The fact that he was both checking his phone and checking out the girl in red lipstick a few tables down from you throughout dinner is probably fine… but when this romance comes crashing down, you can keep that red flag and use it as a throwback, 1940s-style handkerchief. Cry it out, but cry safely knowing you have a darling little red cloth to catch those tears.