1. Has been unreliable since 1982.
  2. Very hard to get a hold of.
  3. Always says they’re coming back.
  4. Often Supersized.
  5. Regularly found in a drive-thru.
  6. Makes a big deal about seasonal return like they’re the prodigal son.
  7. Rarely available but never disappears forever.
  8. Covered in BBQ sauce.
  9. Spends holidays at McDonald’s.
  10. Once brought in a Mythbuster to prove they’re “not that gross.”
  11. Expects you to choose them over less toxic options.
  12. Will leave you crying in a public bathroom.
  13. Has dangerously high cholesterol.
  14. Incapable of showing human emotion.
  15. My mom used to be really into them but not anymore.
  16. Chock-full of artificial bullshit.
  17. Boneless pig.

My Absent Father: 1-9, 11-17
The McRib: 1-17