It’s that time of year again! Mother’s Day is just around the corner. Get your mom—no, your best friend—what she really wan— sorry, what? Nah, it can’t be later than April. ‘Cause there was March and St. Patrick’s Day and then I went inside and now it’s… no… yeah, it’s… it’s Mother's Day soon. Here are some gifts that’ll show her how much you love her, even though you’ve already been stuck inside together for two weeks! LOL.

A Kayak  Kayaking is the perfect pandemic-proof activity, not to mention the perfect way to take advantage of the summer that hasn’t happened yet! Hm? No, sorry, you were saying something.

Toilet Paper – Ha! Toilet paper! Get it? Because it’s flying off the shelves right now. And who knows how long we’ll be inside: could be 10, maybe even 12 more days. She’ll love this little joke that has not gotten old at all.

2020 Planner – With all this extra time, she’ll enjoy planning out her days. After all, pandemics are all about productivity! It’ll also be a nice way to remind her that all of this “craziness” will be over soon. Oh, very funny. Ha-ha. I think I would’ve noticed if it was December already, idiot. Wouldn’t it be cold? Wait, warmest year since when?

JetBlue Gift Card – Flights are soooo cheap right now. Sure, the ticket is non-refundable, but by the time it hits October, she’s going to be thrilled that she booked a flight to Milan way back in… uh… May. Yeah, it’s May.

Elliptical Machine – There’s nothing worse than getting out of shape during a pandemic, right? Nothing. It can’t get any worse than that. It can’t get worse! It can’t get worse. Look at me. It’s not gonna get worse, right? It won’t. It can’t. She still has a will to live, and so do I! I mean, so do you!

Ibuprofen – This one’s foolproof.