The President Just Did Something That We’re Not Going To Call Crazy But The Rest Of The Country Will Completely Agree Is Bonkers”
The New York Times

“What The President Just Did Is Completely Batshit”
The Nation

“How Climate Change Is Going To Make Our Planet So Inhospitable You’ll Wish You Could Mutate Into A Tree Person From Annihilation

“No One With Any Modicum of Power Is Doing Anything About That Either”
The New Republic

“Someone Five Years Younger Than You Has Already Accomplished Every Single Dream You Have Ever Had'

“Quick, Read Something Funny To Distract Yourself From The Giant Wall Of Depression Coming For You At Escape Velocity”

“Mitch McConnell Seen Doing Sick Kickflips In The Rotunda While President Spouts Racist Rhetoric Toward Dogs”

“The Fastest And Easiest Way To Stop Being A Poor Millennial And Grow Your Wealth Is (You’ve Reached Your Article Limit For The Month, Please Subscribe!)
The Wall Street Journal

“How I Used Weed To Launch My Consciousness Away From Earth’s Atmosphere And Disturb The Elder Gods In Deep Space, And Oh My God They’re Coming For All Of Us And We Can’t Run We Are But Worms In Their Almighty Gaze”

“Climate Change Is Still Killing Us, In Case You Got Distracted”
New York Magazine


“That Guy Who Is Five Years Younger Than You And Has Accomplished All Of Your Dreams In Life? Yeah, He’s Gay Too And He’s Already Got A Boyfriend And The Cutest Fucking Dog You’ll Ever See”
Out Magazine

“37 Products To Make You So Productive You’ll Forget All About That Nagging Voice In The Back Of Your Mind That Tells You To Leave The City And Move To The Rocky Mountains Just To Get Away From The Crushing Grind”

“Why Our Pivot To Video Was A Sham In Order To Commit A Human Sacrifice Needed To Appease The Elder Gods That Are Coming For Us From Beyond The Stars”

“VIDEO: The McElroy Brothers Reveal How You Will Die”

“Don’t You Wish You Could Live In The West Village? That Guy Who’s Five Years Younger Than You And His Boyfriend Are Engaged And Just Bought A Gorgeous Townhouse On Christopher Street”
Architectural Digest

“How To Optimize Your Life So Much The Robots That Finally Rise Up And Take Over The World Will Think You’re One Of Them”
Fast Company

“RECIPE: Chicken Cacciatore Meal-For-Two That, Let’s Face It, You’ll Only Ever Make For One”

“I’m The ‘Short' Story That Everyone On Social Media Is Discussing And Since You Can’t Be Left Out Of The Zeitgeist For Longer Than A Few Minutes Before You Spontaneously Combust, You Better Put Aside 50 Minutes To Read Me”
The New Yorker

“Hi, Did You Forget About Climate Change? Cause It Feels Like Everyone Sort Of Did”

“The Rocky Mountains Are Calling You, They Sing In An Ancient Dead Song That Says You Can Feel Happiness Again, Feel Anything Again, So Long As You Sell Your Worldly Possessions, Grow A Flourishing Beard, Delete All Social Media, Cut Ties From Your Family And Move To One Of These 6 Great Spots For Spring Hiking”
Outside Magazine

“VIDEO: Chris Evans Slow Motion Backflip See Dick Through Sweatpants?”
—Comic Book Resources

“Is It Possible To Excrete So Much Feces It Weighs The Same As You? Yes, Here’s How To Do It So You Can Feel Like A Real Man”

“10 Beanies You’ll Only Be Able To Afford If You Sell Your First-Born Child, Dog And Husband To A Witch”

“Guy Who is Five Years Younger And Fiance Win Nobel Peace Prizes And MacArthur Genius Grants”
The Advocate