Wizard of Dragons: Book One of the Crown Cycle
By T.T.Q. McO’layne

Can’t get enough Game of Thrones, Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Then the algorithm insists you’ll love this highly derivative series about a magical elf who puts aside her literary fiction ambitions to write something that might actually sell.”

Becoming Your Best Brand: The Viral Creators of Trending Influence
By Karthryn Choat and Ferd Blank

“Getting ratioed by your stan squad? Building buzz to unfollow back your subscriber base? Content? Learn how to livestream the future of platforms with this Gen Z guide to emerging digital emojis. Meme.”

Mr. McGilligan and the Spectacular Gerbil Detective
By Jeff Winkleman

“A mild-mannered wig inspector. A struggling mom and pop candy factory. And a precocious gerbil with a nose for clues. Looks like it’ll be a long night in Tallahassee! Please buy my self-published novel so I can afford the medication I need!”

Never Back Down: The Landlord’s Guide to Showing Your Tenants Who’s Boss
By The Money Cousins™

“In the primeval jungle of real estate, only the strong survive to prosper. Learn how to defend yourself and your property from late rent, undesirable elements wink wink, and demands that you remove the toxic mold taking over floors 4 through 6. And don’t let anyone call you an exploitative parasite—you’re actually a hero, and very very cool.”

The “Peaches and Cream” Value Pack
By Elisa Legumbre

“Hard-nosed private investigator Sarah Cream never thought she needed a man—until she met the mysterious (and mysteriously hunky) Peach brothers. The only question is, which muscularly juicy Peach is right for her? Choosing is hard, but you won’t have to: Buy all forty-six novels from the Peaches and Cream series for only $0.34!”

White Frame X
By Eman Sdrawkcab

“An unmarked vehicle. Scars. The tingling itch at the back of your throat. 37°14′0″N 115°48′30″W. After reading this incomprehensible ‘book' ‘description' you will die in seven days. Buy now, or don’t; either way you’ve just been subliminally triggered to assassinate the Secretary of Defense.”

Death Comes Home for Christmas: A Bikini Harbor Mystery
By L. Erica Glaum

“It’s Christmastime in the cozy Florida vacation mecca Bikini Harbor, and when the local mall Santa turns up dead, it’s up to spry ex-detective Marjorie Clementine to find the culprit. This is as close as you’ll ever get to experiencing the comfortable retirement you’ll never be able to afford for yourself!”

Crown of Wizards: Book One of the Dragon Cycle
By Whoever

“Seriously, The Winds of Winter isn’t coming. You’re stuck with us.”