3 red foam balls
3 lengths of rope, various sizes
1 long length of rope
1 receipt for an actual saw
2 interlocked metal rings
2 unstuck metal rings
1 perfectly symmetrical quarter from 1987
1 quarter with a piece bitten off
1 book, “How to Not Accidentally Saw Someone in Half During a Magic Act,” seemingly unread
1 ordinary can of potato chips, unopened
1 ordinary can of potato chips, opened + 1 very frightening snake made of paper (no potato chips)
1 regular deck of 52 playing cards
1 permanent marker
1 two of diamonds card with my birthday written on it
1 ace of spades card
1 business card that looks like the ace of spades: “Abe Cadabra. Available for birthday parties, bar and bat mitzvahs, old people homes. [email protected]”
1 red scarf, 6″ long
1 red/purple/blue/yellow/green/white/orange/red/blue scarf, nearly 30’ long, covered in blood, possibly used as a tourniquet
1 sympathy card that also looks like an ace of spades with the words “Sorry about your grandma”
1 plastic thumb tip with handcuff key
1 poof of smoke… and he’s gone.