God explaining to the dinosaurs that they had their time and that he was going to just hit the delete button.

Dinosaurs explaining to God that that’s fine with them, as they boarded their intergalactic space ark.

Adam explaining to Eve that he really enjoyed talking to the snake more than her and whether she likes it or not he’s going to Cabo with him.

Eve explaining to the kids that Adam ran off with a snake and that despite how Adam tries to spin it, God banished them from the garden of Eden because of Adam’s penchant for making pies with apples from the tree of knowledge.

Abel explaining to his mother he met a really nice lady in the city.

Eve explaining to Abel that that was his sister.

Abel explaining to his kids that they were not only brothers and sisters but cousins.

Abel explaining to Cain why hitting someone on the side of the head with a rock isn’t a very nice thing to do.

Cain explaining to Abel that it really was, he just had to be there.

The rock explaining to both of them that he had a family and didn’t want to be an accomplice to this sort of thing.

Noah explaining to his wood supplier that he needs more wood, but can’t afford to buy more wood.

Noah, after being caught chopping down wood in his neighbor’s forest, explaining to his neighbor of humanity’s impending doom and not offering compensation or even a ride on his new boat.

Noah explaining to his third dog, Delilah, why she didn’t make the cut.

Lot explaining to God that he had high blood pressure and how mean it was to tempt him with sodium by turning his wife into a pillar of salt.

The burning bush explaining to Moses that the edibles he just ate were not causing this hallucination.

Moses explaining the burning tree to anyone.

Moses’ first attempt at parting the Red Sea by asking it to part politely.

Moses’ second attempt at parting the Red Sea by asking it to part not-so-politely.

Moses’ third attempt at parting the Red Sea by asking it to part, God Damnit!

Moses explaining to his followers wandering the desert after their escape from the Egyptians that he lost the map 20 years ago but he’s certain he knows the way.

Moses explaining to God that milk and honey sound great and all but he’s on an all plant-based, vegan diet.

God explaining to Jesus that going to Earth will be great.

Jesus explaining to God how it wasn’t great.

Jesus sarcastically explaining to the twelve disciples that he didn’t have any more bread but if they were so hungry why don’t they just eat him.

Jesus walking it back after Judas took a bite out of his man bun.

God explaining to humanity he’s really sorry about everything and wished he’d stuck with the dinosaurs because they were much more fun to be around and not such downers.

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