1. Everything smells like latex
  2. Lots of pre-testing involved
  3. You just met the person who will be intimately probing your body
  4. Several people and bright lights surround you
  5. Everyone’s really nice
  6. It's all going down on top of a table
  7. Plenty of numbing required
  8. Possible intravenous action
  9. Someone is getting paid thousands of dollars and enthusiastically yells “Cut!”
  10. You wonder how things might have been different if you had made different life choices
  11. You must remove all clothing and accessories, except for the robe provided by the management
  12. A handsome, bald man with good eyebrows stares deep inside of you
  13. Some seriously good veins popping
  14. Plenty of orchestrated shifts
  15. Awkward positions
  16. Sharp penetration
  17. You accidentally peed in your gurney
  18. Hairpin turns
  19. Possible psychedelic visual displays and seventies music playing in the background
  20. Frequent calling on God and Jesus
  21. Oozing goo squirting into your eyes
  22. If all goes well you will see stars. If not, you will be sore
  23. It only lasts 15 minutes
  24. Naps will shortly ensue
  25. The whole experience will give you a new outlook on life

1-8, 10-25: Getting cataract surgery
1-16, 18-25: Starring in a cheap porn

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