My Doctor’s Pretty Good, Apart from How Often He Says “Ewwwwwwwww!!”
It was good to hear the inside of my mouth also looked "healthy, but super grody, you know, like mouths are."
Tag: Doctors
An Apology from Your Proctologist for Writing Poems About Your Colonoscopy
To be fair, they are really good poems. I don’t want to toot my own horn (a little proctologist humor there), but those poems are inspired.
A Nonjudgmental and Nonthreatening Pediatric Dental Questionnaire
1. How long have you been putting this off? a. One year. b. Three years. c. Five years. d. My child is, if we must get technical, a member of Generation X.
Everything I’m Afraid Will Happen If I Cry in Front of My Therapist
I'll have just spent $150 to have a breakdown when I could have done that for free, in my apartment, with ice cream.
Are You Taking a Family Photo or Undergoing a Colonoscopy?
- There’s no chance you’ll walk away with a flattering photo. - You don’t know what to do with your arms.
Our Farewell Tour Has Been Postponed
Sad news to report to Arrowhead fans: At a Cincinnati concert, bassist Valmer DeSota got his long hair stuck in the strings of his bass.
Join Me on a Doctor Crawl for My 26th Birthday
Join me on an epic day of going to all the doctors I’ve been avoiding since I was a teen and will no longer have access to!
Maximize Anxiety While Prepping for Your Annual Physical
Google “What does sexually active mean?” Is it like you’re having sex right at that moment? In the past year? Ever?
Ten Little Monkeys, the Psychological Thriller
Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said, “If this is some sort of prank call, it’s not funny. I’m a busy doctor helping patients with real problems.”
My Child Is Perfect, Even Though He’s a Venomous Gila Monster
I don’t appreciate your judgment. You hurt me deeper than any wound my son has inflicted with his sharp claws.
Pop from “Hop on Pop” Visits the Emergency Room
Sorry, say that again? Your boys were doing what? They were “hopping” on you?
As Your Primary Care Doctor, I Will Be Happy to See You in Three Weeks When Your Symptoms Have Passed
It’s true that in every other context “primary” means first in order. But words and their ordinary meanings can be misleading.