Are You Ordering a Drink at a Crowded Bar or Picking Up Your Meds from the Local Pharmacy?
Random people keep jostling you to get to the front of the amorphous blob you’ve been waiting in for 30 minutes.
Tag: Doctors
As Your Virtual Doctor, I Can’t Give You the Results of Your Brain Surgery Until You Smash That “Like” Button
Patients need to smash that so my bosses can track the popularity of this service, which will result in more financial support from our advertisers.
Comments from the Audiologist That Show You’re Massively Failing Your Hearing Exam
You are pressing the button so hard that the spring mechanism has failed. Please stop pressing someone else’s button.
The MD: The World’s Only Sexually Transmitted Degree
When I married my wife, I assumed all of her knowledge. That's how marriage works. Marriage means sharing everything.
It’s Enrollment Time Again and Our Revised Health Insurance Plan Avoids Confusion by Not Paying for Anything
This year, those in last year’s Rhea Gold Plus Silver Less Pro will, for example, be in the Mango Outie plan that has colossally different benefits.
I Am Henry Heimlich’s Arch-Rival, and I Also Invented a Very Cool Maneuver
I’m 89 years old and I’ve literally never seen Heimlich's Maneuver happen, and I’ve eaten at hundreds of sloppy lobster restaurants.
If the Phillie Phanatic Is Allowed to Get a Vasectomy, Whose Offspring’s Pelts Will I Use to Make a Luxurious Fur Coat?
The Phillie Phanatic can phuck off.
Your Final Semester of Dental School Will Focus Primarily on the Care and Maintenance of Your Future Office Aquarium
We will cover advanced topics in endodontics, and the selection, upkeep, and disposal of the countless tropical fish in your new dental office.
Are You Getting LASIK Surgery or Starring in a Cheap Porn?
- You just met the person who will be intimately probing your body - Several people and bright lights surround you
Everything I Know About Receiving the Coronavirus Vaccine I Learned from Getting My Weed Card
Don’t get too cute with the disease you’re pretending to have. Obviously, it has to be a qualifying condition, but it should also be believable.
We’re Not Denying You Had a Baby, But As Your Health Insurance Company, We Are Denying Everything Else
Next time, consider delivering in a Lyft, the cereal aisle at your grocery store, or during your yoga class. Claim denied.
Calling All Baseball Game Popcorn Vendors, Pharmaceutical Reps, and Bar Mitzvah DJs: We Need You to Hand Out Covid Vaccines
Geoff’s been out here slingin’ Coors Light at double-A ballgames for longer than most of these white coat jokers been alive.