KC sports an F chest tattoo for Freeman

BRAIN: Do we really need another tattoo?

KC: Yes. Now shut up.

JUNK: I bet the ladies are going to love this one.

BRAIN: Dude, no they're not.

JUNK: Yeah, why don't we get a tattoo above me that says, "I'm open for anything."

KC: I don't think that's the message we want out there, because, um, we're not.

JUNK: Oh yeah. I don't really want to do some of that stuff with some of those people.

KC: I find the symbolism of this one to be very academic.

BRAIN: Just like all the thinkin' that went into your stupid-ass Star Wars tattoos?

KC: Youth is foolish, jerkoff.

KC Yoda Star Wars tattoo on leg

LEGS: I wonder if this is going to hurt.

KC: Of course it's going to hurt, you pansy.

LEGS: Some of the others on me didn't hurt that bad.

KC: Oh yeah, I stand corrected.

ARMS: Mine were okay.

BUTT: Yeah, not too bad.

JUNK: This is a female tattoo artist. You're going to embarrass us if you can't take some bitch-ass leg tattoo.FOOT: Nothing is going to hurt as bad as mine.

KC: Oh Judas Priest. I never need to do that again.

OLD CLICKY (KC's fake knee): Hey youngsters. Mine was supposed to be terrible, but it wasn't too bad. Aren't knee tattoos supposed to be the biggest and baddest?

CHEST: Yeah, knees are supposed to be bad, but shut up. Getting those chest tattoos sucked.

BACK: I thought my first one really hurt.

KC: Yeah, I guess anything along the spinal cord throbs pretty bad.

MEKANECK (KC's metal neck):Ggg-Zurt! However. Systems check. —Bee-Doop! Now, injury threshold at maximum. Any pain done to human vessel can be tolerable. —Nuz-Doop!

KC: That's because our nerves are all fucked up since you came around. Stupid robot.

MOUTH: Mine didn't hurt that bad. Lots of blood though.

KC: I keep forgetting you're tattooed, too.

JUNK: But holy shit, all the crying in front of that hot Asian tattoo intern girl. Over a stupid inner lip tattoo. That sucked.

EYES: It's not my damn fault! I couldn't help it you motherfucker! It's like getting tear-gassed or something.

EARS: Remember when I got pierced?

KC: I wish I couldn't. That was so stupid.

EARS: You thought it was cool back in the late 90's.

KC: Dude, shut the fuck up. We looked like such a tool back then.

EARS: Not my choice, asshole. By the way, the lady says it's our turn to get some pain. And she's thanking us for shaving our leg.

JUNK: There's a skill that's surely to get us laid in the future. Now we can commiserate with chicks about shaving our legs. Thank goodness for years and years of swim team.

KC: Yup. The two or three times a year we needed to do that really doesn't compare to what women go through. Moron.

LEGS: Yo, this hurts.

KC Korean leg tattoo

FOOT: Don't start singing your ninnysong. Nothing could be worse than me.

KC: True story. And quit twitching. It's embarrassing.

LEGS: For fuck's sake! I can't help it.

JUNK: We look like a pussy now. Stop that shit. And this is a female tattoo artist. You're going to embarrass us if you can't take some bitch-ass leg tattoo.

LEGS: I think there are a lot of nerves. Mekaneck, can you, you know, dull us out?

MEKANECK: —Bee-Doop!— Systems check. Analyzing. Command obeyed due to Fourth Robot Rule. Constricting titanium screws onto spinal column due to —Gzz-Ert— change in humidity and temperature.

KC: Ow! You fucking asshole! That's not what we wanted. And what's the Fourth Robot Law Thing?

MEKANECK: —Oz-Tun—humankind cannot understand the -Gzz-Ert— 2,641 Robot Rules. Request denied to lower intelligence level of Robot Rules —Bee-Doop— to moronic human levels for your understanding. Basically —Nuz-Doop!—the Fourth Robot Rule means —Yuz-Zood!—Fuck you and your stupid homosapian punkass commands. Fleshbag dipshits.

LEGS: Damnit this hurts. And shut that damn cyborg dickwad up.

KC: I'm guessing this is going to be a long night.

LEGS: Shut the fuck up and I hope you die.


More in the "My Organs and I" series:
My Organs and I Go on a First Date
My Organs and I Wake Up
My Organs and I Go to Work
My Organs and I Go to a Game
My Organs and I Hook Up (With a Girl)
My Organs and I Detox
My Organs and I Go to Work (At a Bar)
My Organs and I Turn 30
My Organs and I Drive to Denver
My Organs and I Snowboard
My Organs and I Sleep
My Organs and I Go on a Job Interview
My Organs and I Go to Vegas
My Organs and I Party in the ROK
My Organs and I Watch Korean TV
My Organs and I Stay at Home
My Organs and I Go to High School
My Organs and I Write an "Organs and I" Column
My Organs and I Get Laid in the Shower
My Organs and I Go on a Bender
My Organs and I Get Tattooed
My Organs and I Get Internet… Sort Of