We’ve all done it.

You’re spending another long, lonely night basking in the glow of your computer screen, with IM as your only connection to the outside world. You’re not a total loser, however, so, at any given moment, multiple people feel obligated to find out what you’re up to or share in your universal appeal. (Okay, so that second part only pertains to me. Just be glad that multiple people want to know what you’re up to.) You can normally handle the multiple IMs just fine, but every now and then, you slip up, and a message gets sent to the wrong person. Like I said, we’ve all done it.

My inspiration for this post stems from my most recent experience with this phenomenon, which was, BY FAR, my worst.

The two people I was IMing at the time were my brother and a girl I just met, respectively. Naturally, this leads to two VERY different levels of openness in conversation.

Behold the worst IM slip-up of my life to date:

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CptHookyF5 (8:07:17 PM): and in the pictures, you'd be able to pick up on the fact that they're also competing for my love

CptHookyF5 (8:07:23 PM): like, one of them uses a small dildo

CptHookyF5 (8:07:29 PM): ….the other uses a larger dildo

CptHookyF5 (8:07:37 PM): so the first girl takes an even bigger dildo

CptHookyF5 (8:07:53 PM): and the second girl takes the big dildo and then another dildo in her ass

GirlIBarelyKnow (8:07:56 PM): what?

CptHookyF5 (8:08:03 PM): whooooooooooops

CptHookyF5 (8:08:05 PM): wow

CptHookyF5 (8:08:13 PM): WROOOOOOONG CONVO

GirlIBarelyKnow (8:08:20 PM): lmao

CptHookyF5 (8:08:22 PM): aaaaaaaanyway

GirlIBarelyKnow (8:08:47 PM): lol sounds like you're having an interesting convo

CptHookyF5 (8:09:11 PM): yeah, i'm talking to my little brother

GirlIBarelyKnow (8:09:21 PM): LoL

CptHookyF5 (8:09:23 PM): we don't leave much to the imagination

CptHookyF5 (8:09:27 PM): so yeah

GirlIBarelyKnow (8:09:32 PM): I can see that

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In the interests of full disclosure, I was, somewhat in jest, describing a scenario to my brother in which two girls vie for my affection by one-upping each other while dyking out. These are things brothers can talk about in full confidence because:

1) Every last guy on the planet is a fuckin’ pervert.

2) Your brother will never take it the wrong way.

Needless to say, I was not on the same level of understanding with “GirlIBarelyKnow”.

Whoops.

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