Before you read any further, please read the blog that inspired this.

Kid is fucking funny and he’s only 17. When I was 17, I still laughed at the word “poopy.” Six years later, nothing’s changed.

Anyway, after reading Barry’s blog, I felt compelled to share my story.

Normally, “that’s what she said” is the ultimate “you had to be there” moment. It’s not nearly as funny if you haven’t experienced the full context, especially because the joke is so overdone. However, I think this instance was different. Allow me to paint the picture if I may.

It was spring semester of my senior year and I was taking statistics as a free elective. (Before you cry out, “DORK!” let me assure you…’re right.) In my defense, I majored in electrical engineering; I was rapidly approaching the job market with a less than stellar GPA; and it was management statistics. I don’t even know why they let me in the class. I liken it to Michelangelo taking a course on crayons.

Because statistics for mouthbreathers – as it should’ve been called – was required for management majors, the class was full: a good 60 strong. The audience was in place.

The professor was an Asian man with a very innocent nature. Needless to say, he was mostly oblivious to American sexual innuendo. It was only a matter of time before he served up a meatball of naivete for me to deposit in the bleachers of smart ass quips. The setup was inevitable.

On the first day of class, the professor had everyone break into groups of four to facilitate collaboration on the in-class activities we’d be completing throughout the semester. In order to help him put names to faces, he wanted to take a picture of each group at the end of class. The stage had been set.

The group that was to go before mine consisted of four – how should I say this? – fat kids. They waddled up to the front of the class and lined up to have their picture taken. The professor took aim with his camera, then motioned for them to squeeze together. Again, he tried to line up the shot and again, he motioned for them to squeeze. He raised the camera to his face a third time, peered into the viewfinder, and proclaimed…

“I can’t fit all of you in.”

And I was there to knock it out of the ballpark.